Lessons I have Learned from my Kids

Sometimes the teachers become students. Well, that only indicates how good the teacher is!

Those who know me know that I am big of the positive mindset. I strongly believe that we manifest what we think about. Also, I am one of the eternal optimists and I constantly and always look at the bright side of things.

Having said all of the above, I am also human. I do get angry, sometimes and forget to look at the glass as half full. Most of the times, this happens when I come home tired, after a long day and I find the house in a mess. When I find that things are not where they are supposed to be.

This happened one of this days, and I kind of lost my temper. Abhinav and Kaamya helped me put things right.

And then Abhinav said, ” Ma, what’s the use of being positive all the time, when you are not positive at the exact time when you need to be positive the most”. Seems a bit of a tongue twister, but read it again slowly and you will understand.

The Lesson

What he says is correct. It’s easy to be positive, when everything is OK. The real test is to remain positive when it is most difficult to believe things will be right.

The time to dig in to your reserves and bring out your courage, commitment and belief in yourself is when the world around you is crumbling. Exactly when there appears to be no path forward, that is the time, you need to have the confidence that you can create your own path.

How to help yourself:

When you spill a cup of coffee, what falls out? Coffee, right? Not tea, not whiskey.

When there is turbulence, what is in is what spills out.

If you feed yourself a constant diet of negativity, self doubt , fear and hatred, don’t be surprised if these emotions pour out of you when you look within yourself in adverse circumstances. Instead instill courage, positivity, optimism, confidence and gratitude within you. Make these qualities the cornerstone of your everyday life when things are going well. When things are going well, that is the perfect time to cultivate them.

With all these positive emotions and qualities jostling within you, it will be easier to combat the hard times.

As for me, I have learned my lesson. And I thank my son for it.

I am looking for an opportunity to put it into practice!!

When the World Went Dark

One of these days this week, the city of Mumbai suffered a major power break down. Due to grid failure several parts of the city plunged into darkness and life came to a stand still almost. It was unprecedented event, something not experienced before. And after few hours (nearly 5 in my case), the power was restored and things came back to normal.

As always, I became fascinated with observing behaviors during the period of the ‘darkness’ and to figure out what lessons we can learn from this experience.

4Lessons Learned During the Black Out

So, it was a Monday morning. The day of the week, which is the most power packed and which starts off in high gear. As we wind down the week, by Friday, we let things slide. We defer decision making till the next week. And come Monday, everyone is pumped up and raring to go. Some of us have utilized the latter half of Sunday to draw up plans for the week including the things to accomplish on Monday.

Come Monday and within minutes of getting into your work day, you lose power and suddenly you have nothing to do. It cannot get more anti-climactic than this.

Based on my observations, I would list the following 4 lessons I learned.

Lesson 1: Accept Situations you Cannot Control

Obviously, this was a situation completely out of our control. The smart thing to do was accept the situation and figure how best to handle it. Likewise there are several times that we have no control on what is happening or has happened. In such cases, it is the best course of action is to not spend resources and energy worrying on the same. It is better to move on and focus on the activities that are within our control and which would yield results. Which leads me to lesson two

Lesson: Take the time to Pause and Review

Many times, we are so focused on the doing that we do not pause for review and reflection. We do not stop to review our goals and reflect whether our activities are in alignment with our goals. Obviously, this is a critical exercise that needs to be done on a regular basis. However, this particular Monday gave me the perfect time for review and drove home the realization that review and reflection need to be scheduled regularly.

Lesson 3: Do What we Can and Get Ready for What is to Come

With no access to emails and regular work activities coming to a standstill, many of us took to the important task of cleaning our desks. Over a period of time, things tend to accumulate on your desk. And you never have the time to take a look. This was the perfect time to do some spring cleaning. The lesson here is an intent to utilize time wisely. After all, electricity would come back sooner or later and we would get back to regular work with cleaner and more organized desk!

Lesson 4: Learn Lessons from Experiences

As we go through life, we have different experiences, and we have behave or act as per what we feel is the best response to the situation. Once we inculcate a habit of review, we can see the hidden lessons in each of our experiences. For instance, this post is about about the lessons learned when the (work) world went dark. Such lessons give clarity and perspective and will remain helpful for a long time.

A Poem on Gratitude

I am grateful for the dawning of each new day

For it gives me a chance to be better than I was yesterday.

I am grateful to feel the warmth of the sun,

I am grateful I have the ability to exercise and run.

I am grateful for running water hot and cold,

I am grateful for my kids whom I can hug and hold,

I am grateful for my family who’s always by my side,

Counting my blessings this morning, I almost cried.

It’s been just a few minutes since I woke up

The warmth is still there in my coffee cup

Even before the day has begun,

I am counting my blessings one by one

I know I will have a wonderful day,

The gratitude in my heart will pave the way.

Silence has the Answers

Recently, I saw a video by Shri Gaur Gopal Das, where he talks about how silence has all the answers. Gopal Das has illustrated this point with a small story. The video really rang true with me. 

Often there is so much noise around us that we can’t think straight. During such times a few moments of silence can make a big difference.

How Silence Helps

Silence is Essential for Analysis

When we are part of multiple conversations, we are gathering information and ideas. However, mere information or data is not helpful. Analysis of the data and taking from it it’s essence is what is helpful. We can do this analysis only in silence.

Silence Improves Perspective

With the noise, one tends to be swayed by popular opinion. Silence helps you look at things in perspective. OK, so the popular plan didn’t work. Is there an alternative that can be explored? In what other manner can this situation be approached. Only in silence, the mind is free to look at other perspectives. cacophony deafens us literally and creatively.

Silence is Energizing

Any activity we do expends our energy.  If we are constantly in conversations and surrounded by noise, we are losing energy. As our energy resources get depleted exhaustion sets in, taking a toll on our productivity. Silence conserves energy. Conservation of energy sharpens focus, enhancing productivity to a significant extent.

Haven’t most of us experienced peak productivity early in the morning before others get to work, or late evening when most colleagues have left. That’s the power of silence. However, that doesn’t mean you should always get to work earlier than others or stay back late. It only means you have to devise strategies to create chunks of silence within your work day.

While obviously, one cannot be a recluse at work, refusing to talk to others, the key is to understand the value of silence and how it can help perform better and increase your productivity.

Just try it and you can see the difference. You will find out that silence is not only golden. It has all the answers.